John Tortorella's re-Torts: #$%^ (uhh … ‘stuff’) he's said over the years

 

John Tortorella brought his bon mots to Vancouver this season, filling up notebooks and airtime with his colourful turns of phrase. And while the freshly-fired Vancouver Canucks coach wasn’t as blue in his language as in earlier years with the Rangers or Lightning, he still made some remarkable comments. Here are the best re-Torts over the years:

 
 
 
 
<div id="page1">&#8220;The year that we've had, and I am the head coach of this team, you tuck your tail between your legs and you leave. It's been a rough year, but it's embarrassing to coach against the guy across from me tonight (Calgary Flames head coach Bob Harley). Some of the things that went on when Danny was hurt, it's embarrassing.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella at season&#8217;s end, on his feud with Hartley, which eurpted during the infamous Jan. 18 game at Rogers Arena when Tortorella (above) tried to storm the Flames dressing room between periods.</div>
 

“The year that we've had, and I am the head coach of this team, you tuck your tail between your legs and you leave. It's been a rough year, but it's embarrassing to coach against the guy across from me tonight (Calgary Flames head coach Bob Harley). Some of the things that went on when Danny was hurt, it's embarrassing.” — John Tortorella at season’s end, on his feud with Hartley, which eurpted during the infamous Jan. 18 game at Rogers Arena when Tortorella (above) tried to storm the Flames dressing room between periods.

Photograph by: Gerry Kahrmann, PNG

 
<div id="page1">&#8220;The year that we've had, and I am the head coach of this team, you tuck your tail between your legs and you leave. It's been a rough year, but it's embarrassing to coach against the guy across from me tonight (Calgary Flames head coach Bob Harley). Some of the things that went on when Danny was hurt, it's embarrassing.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella at season&#8217;s end, on his feud with Hartley, which eurpted during the infamous Jan. 18 game at Rogers Arena when Tortorella (above) tried to storm the Flames dressing room between periods.</div>
&#8220;I probably have no right to say anything because of the year I have had but that stuff pisses me off. I probably shouldn&#8217;t say anything. It just pisses me off. I just don&#8217;t like the disrespect with players. It aggravates me. I am not going to go any further. I don&#8217;t like the way he (Bob Hartley) does business. I don&#8217;t like him, and eventually I guess why I am talking about it in this way is because I need to protect my players and a lot of people don&#8217;t understand that, so I&#8217;ll just leave it at that. I don&#8217;t know why I opened it up.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella, with some more choice words for Calgary Flames head coach Bob Hartley (above) after the Canucks&#8217; final game of the season.
&#8220;I hope Sweden wins because I don't think Hammer (Dan Hamhuis) is going to play judging from what's happened and I don't think Louie (Roberto Luongo) is going to play. So I don't give a bleep right now because they're not playing. I just want them back here. I hope Danny (Sedin) scores two goals and (Alex) Edler gets three assists and Sweden wins so they come back feeling good about themselves because it's going to help us. That's all I'm concerned about right now.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella in February, on the Olympic men&#8217;s hockey final and his &#8216;hope&#8217; that Canucks blueliner Dan Hamhuis (above right) doesn&#8217;t come back with a gold medal.
&#8220;Yeah, he's a weird dude. &#8230; It's good to have weird dudes. I think sometimes we have locker rooms that are blas&#233;. You need personality. As you go through a long year, you need things to happen. I'm sure he'll find a few things along the way for us.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella, commenting last October on Canucks winger David Booth (above right), who never entirely got out of Torts&#8217; doghouse.
&#8220;You know what, I don't even look that far, I am trying to win tonight's game. You guys have that formula that they have to have certain amount of minutes here and you don't want to get them too tired. I don't believe in it. I believe in trying to win the next game. So we'll see where we go with it.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella, commenting last October on how he&#8217;s not worried about giving his star players like the Sedin twins (above) and Ryan Kesler too much ice time, and thus wearing them out.
&#8220;I apologize first and foremost to the players (for) the situation I put them in, to the organization, with my stupidity, to the league. It's been embarrassing and not just for me, but for everybody around me in the situation that has occurred here.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella, returning to the Canucks bench in February, and commenting on his 15-day suspension.
&#8220;Realistically, we are a beat-up club. But it's an unforgiving league. Teams smell the blood when you are in this type of situation.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella, returning to the team in February after his 15-day suspension.
&#8220;This is a kick in the teeth and it's certainly going to take a little bit more than the normal coach's speak to move by this game. This is a tough one to eat.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella, after the Canucks gave up seven third-period goals and lost 7-4 to the visiting New York Islanders on March 10 (above).
"I feel responsible for Mike. Mike is a friend of mine. I worry about him and I worry about his family. A lot of people don't understand when these things happen, there are kids, there is a wife, there is family involved. So outside the game, he is a friend of mine. I care about him. Someone was let go. Someone was told he can't do something he loves. So I do have some feelings towards that.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella, after general manager Mike Gillis (above) was fired in the last week of the season.
&#8220;It&#8217;s stale. And that&#8217;s not their fault. This is a group that&#8217;s been together for a long time. It&#8217;s stale. It needs youth. It needs a change. I felt that from Day 1. We have to stop talking about 2011. The team needs to be re-tooled. And that&#8217;s what change is. It is a young man&#8217;s game.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella, saying at season&#8217;s end that his team wasn&#8217;t the 2011 Stanley Cup finalists (above).
&#8220;You have to understand the team is trending, it's getting older. It does need to be revitalized. You have to stop thinking about 2011. That's not an excuse from me; I could get gassed out of here today. It's the truth of what's going on.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella, again on how this year&#8217;s team isn&#8217;t the the 2011 version and implying he may not be around to lead it into the future.
"I'm going to coach the team until Sunday and, as I've said many times, I'm going to work every day until they say &#8212; you know what? &#8212; we don't want you here." &#8212; John Tortorella, during the last week of the season on his future.
"I just met Trevor this morning for a couple of minutes. I used to love watching him play. Hell of a player. Big-game player. But I just met him today so as far as conversations, nuts and bolts, it was just hello. Basically that was it. Again, I said hello to him for 30 seconds. That may be my first and last conversation with him. Or we may have other conversations, I don't know." &#8212; John Tortorella, on meeting his new boss Trevor Linden after the latter (above) was hired.
&#8220;Ask me a question. Don&#8217;t say talk about it, ask me a question. I&#8217;m not going to talk about it if it isn&#8217;t a question.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella (above), who often challenges the fourth estate.
&#8220;It&#8217;s a cheap, dirty hit. I wonder what would happen if we did it to their two whining stars over there.&#8221; &#8212; Then-Rangers coach John Tortorella, on Pittsburgh Penguins&#8217; dynamic duo of Sidney Crosby and Evengi Malkin (above left and right), in the wake of his anger over a hit delivered to Ranger Derek Stepan by the Pens&#8217; Brooks Orpik.
&#8220;You can tell James Duthie to shove that quiz. I have a few other words I can tell you about the quiz.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella, when becoming the Rangers&#8217; new coach and ending his talking-head gig with TSN, on the network&#8217;s Duthie (above).
&#8220;I have to make that decision regarding this. So kiss my @## if you want to run something different.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella, defending Rangers star Brad Richards (above) after making him a healthy scratch in an important Game 4 last week, but he didn&#8217;t want the media to &#8220;pile on&#8221; the Rangers alternate captain.
&#8220;Well, right now that&#8217;s a huge !@#$%^& goal he scored in the first period. That&#8217;s how I would describe him.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella, on a Ryan Callahan (above left) goal.
&#8220;I&#8217;m not sure if NBC got together with the refs and wanted to turn this into an overtime game. I&#8217;m not sure if they had meetings about that or what.&#8221; &#8212; New York Rangers coach John Tortorella, not complementary about the officials after the 2011-12 Winter Classic (above) against the Philadelphia Flyers.
&#8220;He&#8217;s a good player. If you have a chance, finish him. Don&#8217;t !@#$ your pants on him.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella to his New York Ranger players, commenting on Toronto Maple Leafs forward Phil Kessel (above) in HBO&#8217;s 24/7.
&#8220;I thought that little !@#$ Benn Ferriero played well.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella, on Benn Ferriero (above) &#8212; a compliment, in this case.
&#8220;You were probably beat up at the bus stop most of the time.&#8221;  &#8212; John Tortorella (above), singling out New York Post reporter Larry Brooks, with whom he has had a long-standing feud.
&#8220;Four goals in 16 shots ... I'm really tired of the 25-per-cent rule.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella, flexing his math skills.
&#8220;You know what, 18 scoring chances to 10. We can't have expletive four goals go into our net on 10 chances. We can't. Especially the fourth goal. It can't happen. So you tell me you want me to get them to get out there and play aggressive, this that and the other thing, when !@#$ goals go in like that. They're going to be tentative. They're going to be tentative, and that has to stop for us to get any type of consistency here, or we're $%^&*!@ done. It has to stop.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella, in full flight.
&#8220;You can't have !@#$%^& four goals in our net on 10 chances. Especially the fourth goal. It can't happen.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella.
&#8220;It's !@#$%^& garbage. The !@#$%^& guy should be playing in the !@#$%^& East Coast Hockey League and he takes out a !@#$%^& National Hockey League (player). He'll get suspended, but who !@#$%^& cares Everybody wants him on the !@#$%^& ice anyway. It's !@#$%^&.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella (left, behind players).
&#8220;I'm not going to bull!@#$ you we're in a tough situation. We're down 3-1 to a real quality hockey team.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella.
&#8220;I'm not up here to rip anyone apart, but let's be honest about what's going on here. And it's getting old. We're going nowhere, nowhere, until (the goaltending) is straightened out. &#8230; I hope he plays well. If he plays well, he's going to go again. I'm not up here trying to rip anybody apart. Let's be honest about what's going on here, and it's getting old. We're going no where until that situation is straightened out.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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