John Tortorella: #$%^ (uhh … ‘stuff’) he says

 

Stanley Cup-winning (Tampa Bay Lightning, ’04), ultimately fired (New York Rangers, ’13) head coach John Tortorella is the Vancouver Canucks' new bench boss. ‘Torts’ does have a way with words, particularly of the @!#$%^ variety (‘expletive deleted,’ for the tender-eared). And what are some of the juiciest ‘re-Torts’ over the years?

 
 
 
 
<div id="page1">&#8220;Ask me a question. Don&#8217;t say talk about it, ask me a question. I&#8217;m not going to talk about it if it isn&#8217;t a question.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella (above), who often challenges the fourth estate.</div>
 

“Ask me a question. Don’t say talk about it, ask me a question. I’m not going to talk about it if it isn’t a question.” — John Tortorella (above), who often challenges the fourth estate.

Photograph by: Mitchell Layton, NHLI via Getty Images

 
<div id="page1">&#8220;Ask me a question. Don&#8217;t say talk about it, ask me a question. I&#8217;m not going to talk about it if it isn&#8217;t a question.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella (above), who often challenges the fourth estate.</div>
&#8220;It&#8217;s a cheap, dirty hit. I wonder what would happen if we did it to their two whining stars over there.&#8221; &#8212; Then-Rangers coach John Tortorella, on Pittsburgh Penguins&#8217; dynamic duo of Sidney Crosby and Evengi Malkin (above left and right), in the wake of his anger over a hit delivered to Ranger Derek Stepan by the Pens&#8217; Brooks Orpik.
&#8220;You can tell James Duthie to shove that quiz. I have a few other words I can tell you about the quiz.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella, when becoming the Rangers&#8217; new coach and ending his talking-head gig with TSN, on the network&#8217;s Duthie (above).
&#8220;I have to make that decision regarding this. So kiss my @## if you want to run something different.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella, defending Rangers star Brad Richards (above) after making him a healthy scratch in an important Game 4 last week, but he didn&#8217;t want the media to &#8220;pile on&#8221; the Rangers alternate captain.
&#8220;Well, right now that&#8217;s a huge !@#$%^& goal he scored in the first period. That&#8217;s how I would describe him.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella, on a Ryan Callahan (above left) goal.
&#8220;I&#8217;m not sure if NBC got together with the refs and wanted to turn this into an overtime game. I&#8217;m not sure if they had meetings about that or what.&#8221; &#8212; New York Rangers coach John Tortorella, not complementary about the officials after the 2011-12 Winter Classic (above) against the Philadelphia Flyers.
&#8220;He&#8217;s a good player. If you have a chance, finish him. Don&#8217;t !@#$ your pants on him.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella to his New York Ranger players, commenting on Toronto Maple Leafs forward Phil Kessel (above) in HBO&#8217;s 24/7.
&#8220;I thought that little !@#$ Benn Ferriero played well.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella, on Benn Ferriero (above) &#8212; a compliment, in this case.
&#8220;You were probably beat up at the bus stop most of the time.&#8221;  &#8212; John Tortorella (above), singling out New York Post reporter Larry Brooks, with whom he has had a long-standing feud.
&#8220;Four goals in 16 shots ... I'm really tired of the 25-per-cent rule.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella, flexing his math skills.
&#8220;You know what, 18 scoring chances to 10. We can't have expletive four goals go into our net on 10 chances. We can't. Especially the fourth goal. It can't happen. So you tell me you want me to get them to get out there and play aggressive, this that and the other thing, when !@#$ goals go in like that. They're going to be tentative. They're going to be tentative, and that has to stop for us to get any type of consistency here, or we're $%^&*!@ done. It has to stop.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella, in full flight.
&#8220;You can't have !@#$%^& four goals in our net on 10 chances. Especially the fourth goal. It can't happen.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella.
&#8220;It's !@#$%^& garbage. The !@#$%^& guy should be playing in the !@#$%^& East Coast Hockey League and he takes out a !@#$%^& National Hockey League (player). He'll get suspended, but who !@#$%^& cares Everybody wants him on the !@#$%^& ice anyway. It's !@#$%^&.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella (left, behind players).
&#8220;I'm not going to bull!@#$ you we're in a tough situation. We're down 3-1 to a real quality hockey team.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella.
&#8220;I'm not up here to rip anyone apart, but let's be honest about what's going on here. And it's getting old. We're going nowhere, nowhere, until (the goaltending) is straightened out. &#8230; I hope he plays well. If he plays well, he's going to go again. I'm not up here trying to rip anybody apart. Let's be honest about what's going on here, and it's getting old. We're going no where until that situation is straightened out.&#8221; &#8212; John Tortorella.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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