VANCOUVER — Nobody hates the Detroit Red Wings and it’s making me sick.

It’s unbelievable the free pass this organization gets compared to nearly all the other top teams in the National Hockey League.

The Boston Bruins are the Broad Street Bullies with better teeth and an anarchist in goal.

Philadelphia Flyers fans booed Sidney Crosby and Ryan Miller during a hockey-fights-cancer ad and the team still employs Chris Pronger.

The Rangers have that New York smugness and so does John Tortorella.

The Chicago Blackhawks? Cocky. San Jose Sharks? Chokers.

Los Angeles Kings? Jolly rancher Darryl Sutter behind the bench and Sly Stallone behind the glass.

Nashville Predators? Totally no right to be as good as they are.

And let’s not get restarted about how everyone hates the Vancouver Canucks more than they hate global warming or the growing inequity between rich and poor or even one of the Kardashians.

St. Louis Blues’ coach Ken Hitchcock explained the dislike for the Canucks — or any other top team — as envy, saying: “If Vancouver wants to be liked, start losing. Everybody will love you.”

But everybody loves the Red Wings and Detroit has won more than anyone in the last two decades. They haven’t missed the playoffs since 1990, haven’t finished with fewer than 102 points in 12 years, haven’t lost in the first round of the playoffs since 2006 and have four Stanley Cups since 1997.

And yet the franchise’s entire existence since the chainsaw wars with the Colorado Avalanche in late 1990s has been one long, syrupy Hallmark moment.

The stuff the Wings get away with is scandalous.

Sometime during his seven Norris Trophy acceptance speeches, Detroit captain Nicklas Lidstrom must have forgotten to thank someone. Henrik Zetterberg once talked with his mouth full. Pavel Datsyuk is dishonest, looking all Curious George and pretending he’s not the best player in the NHL now that Sidney Crosby is out. Todd Bertuzzi still won’t shave, and Wednesday in Vancouver someone threw a tape ball on the floor of the Detroit dressing room.

You know, they kill octopus in Detroit.

And this team leads the NHL yet again? Outrageous. How can no one see through these monsters?

“Does it do me any good to have a theory after you just made that nice statement?” Detroit coach Mike Babcock said Wednesday when asked about the double-standard and why no one hates the Wings. “Just write it like that. Perfect. I think we’re a good team and I like to think we play the game well. We’re a team that plays between the whistles and that’s just the way our personnel is built. We’d play different if our personnel was different. You coach what you have and play with what you’ve got.”

See, even the coach throws the general manager under the bus. Reprehensible.

“I played against Detroit more than I played for them, and the good way to put it is you have respect for them,” defenceman Mike Commodore said. “A lot of guys end up staying here for a long time. Other guys come in here and maybe their career is at a standstill or they’re on the backside of their career, and they’re able to come here and get rejuvenated. Players respect that, too. The way things are done in Detroit has garnered respect.

“It’s a pretty clean hockey team. We play hard, but nobody in here is running around getting in people’s ears. We play a clean, straightforward, puck-possession kind of hockey.”

Yeah, but just try explaining away all the winning. In 6 1/2 seasons since the lockout, the Red Wings are 338-142-63 — 196 games over .500.

Including his two pre-lockout seasons with the Anaheim Ducks, Babcock’s career coaching record is 407-204-96. Of the 26 other guys with 400 NHL wins, only Scotty Bowman has a better winning percentage than Babcock.

The Red Wings won the Stanley Cup in 2008 and came within Game 7 of retaining the trophy the next season. After two years that qualified in Detroit as disappointing — fewer than 50 wins and second-round playoff exits — the Red Wings are back on top of the NHL at 34-16-1.

“It’s not just winning a Cup,” Babcock said of the challenge. “It’s after you’ve won Cups; how many can you win and how long can you keep it going? We live scared (of failure) every year. We’re scared to death the first 20 games, and then we’re scared not to make the playoffs and then we’re scared once we get in the playoffs. We’ve been scared since before I got there and I know I’m scared for them now.

“I think if you take your dog-and-pony show somewhere else (as a coach), it’s probably easier for the first year. You see all these coaches who come in and their team is good for one year, and the next year you guys are all talking about them. So to me, (one year) is not the measure. The measure is year after year after year. That’s what our organization is proud of, that’s what I’m proud of. You’ve got to do it every year.”

Said Zetterberg: “If we don’t win the Cup, it’s not a good season. That’s the standard we’ve had ever since I’ve been here and I think the young players that come in feel the same way.”

But why does no one hate the Wings?

“I don’t think that’s true,” he said. “I think there are teams that hate us.”

Then he talked about playoff rivalries and mentioned the Sharks. So, presumably, San Jose captain Joe Thornton slyly poked Zetterberg in the face like he did Canucks captain Henrik Sedin earlier this season.

“No,” Zetterberg said. “I’ve never seen that.”

Of course not. He plays for the Red Wings.

imacintyre@vancouversun.com

On Twitter: Twitter.com/imacvansun

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