Not sure if there's a Swedish version of the Mossad, but if there is, it might resemble the Detroit Red Wings. Led by seven Tre Kronor Kids, Detroit will win the Stanley Cup tonight after another surgical strike at the heart of the Pittsburgh Penguins. Deadly, efficient, cold-blooded, the Wings slip into town under cover of darkness and leave hours later with hardly a trace.

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Too bad the city of Detroit -- which worshipped previous Red Wings teams -- has been so slow to warm to this marvellous team and its captain, the incomparable Nicklas Lidstrom.

Flames GM Darryl Sutter is right when he says Lidstrom is the key and Detroit wouldn't be as good without him. Yeah . . . they'd probably need six games to beat the Penguins.

Lightning Strikes Out

So you're top draft prospect Steve Stamkos, about to start your NHL career in Tampa. Then you hear the Lightning's new movie-mogul owner thinks Barry Melrose is just the coach to sell tickets (Gretz sure packs the house in Phoenix, doesn't he?) and guide you on your path to stardom.

The same Melrose who's spent the past 12 years as the mullet-headed hockey talking head for ESPN. Whose last two teams in Los Angeles were hapless losers.

Do you 1) Feign a serious leg injury? 2) Say "What could possibly go wrong?" or 3) hide in the Russian league till Tampa trades your rights?

MIA Mario

This week's media crank was the Houdini Act of Penguins owner-legend Mario Lemieux, who's made himself scarce during the playoffs. "Why won't Mario come out and play?" whine scribes faced with another Kris Draper feature. For the last time: Lemieux has had enough of owning the Penguins. And -- put the mortgage on it -- with the Pens' current value pushing his stake to maybe $75 million, he's going to sell to the first warm body who offers him the cash so he can get out of hockey and play golf. Is that clear enough?

Point Shots

Sidney Crosby, meet Don Cherry. Grapes -- this is Sid The Kid. That was easy, wasn't it? . . . There's talk that maybe teams should institute a motorcycle ban on players following the tragic death of Vancouver's Luc Bourdon this past week. While it makes some sense to save young men from themselves, there's absolutely no chance it would ever pass muster with the NHLPA . . . True story: upon being offered the Red Wings GM job, Ken Holland's first priority? Replacing Scotty Bowman as coach. . . . If tennis can have the Cyclops to tell if serves are in, why can't they invent a sensor that tells if the puck is over the goal line? Just asking.

Stars and Stripes

There has been the usual torrent of criticism over NHL refereeing in the playoffs. Some of it -- the menace of Tomas Holmstrom -- warranted. But NHL zebras have been scrupulous next to NBA refs. Imagine if the NHL admitted Brett Hull's foot was truly in the crease back in the final of 2000? That's what the NBA did this week, fessing up that refs had swallowed the whistles on the final play of Game 4 in the Lakers-Spurs series. Brent Barry of the Spurs faked Derek Fisher out of his pretty yellow pants with seconds left on the clock and San Antonio down by three. A leaping Fisher crashed into Barry -- who was outside the three-point arc. Automatic three foul shots, right? Nah, Barry's not a star, the Lakers are everyone's darlings. No call, Lakers win the game, and next game they win the Western Final. The NBA apologizes after the fact.